I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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