i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
