glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
