I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
