Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
