Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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