Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
