Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
