A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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