you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
