sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
