saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
