Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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