I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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