Quick, to the slutcave!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I love you. Go after that dick
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
