drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
