Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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