please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
