Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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