the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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