the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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