whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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