Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize