She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
