I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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