so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
