You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
