did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
