I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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