Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He shit in the fireplace
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
