Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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