just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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