dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
