playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
