If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
