So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
