i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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