ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
