Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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