it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I am available for nakedness
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize