Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
