I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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