I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
