sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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