I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
