He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So here I am, sexting at work.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
