So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
