So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
