See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
