my vag is so smooth its legendary
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
