you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
